The Things No One Tells You About Leaving a Role You Loved

A reflection for those navigating identity, grief, and gentle beginnings in the wake of career change.

After I left a role I’d held for years, a friend said something that unlocked something in me:

“It sounds like you’re grieving.”

They were right.
I wasn’t just leaving a job. I was letting go of an identity I had wrapped around me for so long.
The mission. The people. The rhythm of being useful, trusted, known.

I thought I needed to figure out what was next.
But first, I had to feel what was here.

Grief. Disorientation.
A quiet wondering of:

“If I’m not that anymore... then who am I now?”

It was around that time that I worked with a coach who helped me understand this not just as loss, but as part of a wider cycle.
She exposed me to the notion that closure and new beginnings go hand in hand.
It seems obvious now, but I needed to move through it to honour what was ending before I could imagine what was next.

🪞 Insights I keep returning to

You don’t need a five-year plan.
You just need the next brave step.

Your identity isn’t something an organisation gives you.
It’s something you carry with you.

Clarity doesn’t come first. Action does.
The moment I started moving; imperfectly and gently, was the moment I began to feel like myself again.

You don’t have to do this alone.
Sometimes the most powerful shift comes not from figuring it out, but from being witnessed as you begin again.

✨ Try this (for you)

Here’s a reflection you can take into your journal, a quiet walk, or a conversation with someone you trust:

“How would I introduce myself without using a job title or the name of my organisation?”

Then go a little deeper:

• What values have always stayed with me, no matter the role?

• What lights me up that I’ve never needed a title to claim?

• What might be quietly beginning, even as something ends?

• Who could support me as I take this next step?

You don’t need a polished answer. Just a place to begin.

🤝 Try this (with your team):

If you're holding space for others, especially after change or restructure, this simple practice can invite meaning without pressure:

“Past, Present, Becoming”

In pairs, small groups, or even solo journaling, explore:

• In the past, I was someone who…

• Right now, I am someone who…

• I am becoming someone who…

This approach gives permission to acknowledge what’s shifting, what still feels true, and what might be emerging.

Identity isn’t fixed. It’s in motion and this reflection makes space for that.

📝 Your Reflection Journal Page

This week’s downloadable page includes five coaching-based questions to help you reconnect with who you are and who you’re becoming.

👉 Download your leadership reflection journal page

💬 From Me to You

You are not starting from scratch.
You are starting from everything you’ve lived, led, felt, and held.

And even if you don’t yet have the words for who you’re becoming...
That becoming is already unfolding.

With warmth,
Linda
Touching Distance | Within Reach