In humanitarian work and in any high-intensity setting, relationships can form quickly and deeply.
You meet in a crisis. You rely on each other through long nights and hard decisions in spaces far beyond the task list.
You see each other at your most undone and most alive.
And in all of that, it does feel like family.
I’ve been part of teams like that.
We met each other’s families. We saw each other through heartbreak and humour.
We shared meals in tents and packed airports. We held each other through loss and burned-out hope.
And long after the role ended, we still ask about each other’s families.
Because the bond wasn’t just professional. It was personal.
It still is.
These experiences keep me grounded.
They remind me why this work matters so deeply to so many of us.
And they’ve shaped how I show up now as a coach walking alongside humanitarians and purpose-driven leaders navigating complexity, holding responsibility, and trying to stay connected to themselves and to others.
This work asks a lot of us.
And the more connected we are, the more wisely and humanely we lead.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting more deeply on how complicated the word "family" can be in a workplace context.
When people are made redundant, when structures shift overnight, when decisions are made without relationship at the centre, those aren’t family-like decisions.
A conversation with a fellow coach and leader helped me see how language, even when well-intentioned, can blur boundaries, mask unhealthy dynamics, or create emotional contracts no one consciously agreed to.
And something clicked.
This isn’t about blame.
Most of us never meant to build something that would be hard to leave.
But in the absence of clear boundaries, emotional contracts form quietly, and they don’t dissolve just because a role ends.
Here’s something I’m learning:
Understanding doesn’t arrive all at once.
You might have a realisation in a conversation or in the quiet ache of a goodbye.
And then, weeks or months later, another layer lands.
You notice something you hadn’t been able to name before.
That’s what reflection does.
It keeps returning, not to haunt us, but to deepen our awareness.
That doesn’t mean the original connection wasn’t real.
It just means I’m getting clearer on what it meant and what it didn’t.
So I’m sitting with this:
What does healthy belonging look like at work?
How do we honour closeness without setting people up for deeper pain when things change?
And how can we let go, not with bitterness, but with clarity?
I don’t have tidy answers.
But I do believe this:
The language we choose shapes the experiences we have.
And it’s okay to rethink that language when it no longer fits.
A gentle reflection
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When has a workplace felt like family to you?
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What language shaped your sense of connection, and is it still serving you?
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What do you now understand differently about endings, identity, or belonging?
A team exercise you can try
Title: What We Meant to Each Other
Time: 30–45 minutes
Who it’s for: Teams navigating change, especially when some are leaving and others are staying
This is a guide, not a script. Adapt it for your context and hold it with care. The goal isn’t closure. It’s to make space for reflection and connection during transition.
1. Set the tone (5 mins)
“We’ve been through a lot as a team. Some of us are staying, some are moving on. This is a moment to honour what we’ve shared, without needing to wrap it all up.”
2. Quiet reflection (5–10 mins)
Prompts:
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What has this team or chapter meant to me?
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What’s one moment, value, or relationship I’ll carry with me?
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What helped me feel seen or supported?
3. Optional small-group sharing (15–20 mins)
Invite people to share in pairs or trios, only if they want to.
“What are you holding onto from this time together?”
4. Closing the space (5 mins)
Invite a closing word, gesture, or phrase:
“What are you taking forward from this experience?”
This exercise won’t change the transition, but it can help ease it.
And it reminds people that what they contributed mattered.
Your Reflection Journal Page
This week’s downloadable page includes five coaching-based questions to help you reflect on what connection, identity, and language have meant to you in teams, especially during seasons of change.
If you’ve ever felt the weight of a goodbye or carried something unspoken after leaving a team that mattered to you, these prompts are for you.
Download your leadership reflection journal page
Thank you for being here.
If you're a leader or someone simply navigating what it means to let go of a team or organisation that felt like home, I hope this reflection reminds you:
You’re allowed to care deeply.
And you’re allowed to leave with clarity too.
If this stirred something in you, I’d love to hear what you’re holding or how this is showing up in your world right now.
With you in the tender work of letting go,
Linda
Touching Distance | Within Reach
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