It's Hard to Grow in Isolation

When you decide to work on yourself, you don't do it in a vacuum.

There's a system around you. Your manager. Your team. The wider organisation you're part of. And the changes you're trying to make, whether that's how you influence, how you show in high-stakes moments, how you make decisions, all of that has to happen inside that system.

Which means the system matters.

What can we do as individuals?

The first thing is to name what you're working on. Not vaguely, but specifically... "I want to be more confident when I speak in public." "I want to work on how I influence without the title." "I want to feel confident in my decisions and not just bend to what others think."

When you're clear on it, you can do something most people don't: involve your manager.

This does assume you have a positive or at least cordial relationship with them. If you do, telling them what you're working on changes things. It means they could create opportunities that match your goals. An invitation to a partner meeting. A chance to lead something high-stakes. A moment where they step back and let you take the lead. None of that may happen if they don't know what you're reaching for.

I also told my team. I said: I'm going to be exploring more about myself in my coaching journey, and I want to challenge myself to experiment with different things. Are you open to that journey with me, and would you be willing to give me feedback?

That invitation changed the dynamic. It wasn't a performance review. It was an open door. And it meant the people around me became part of the process rather than just observers of it or perhaps even 'sufferers' of it!

Changing behaviour/ breaking patterns takes effort and intention. But it also takes people who know what you're trying to do. Trusted people are often best. When they understand your goals, they stop being a passive backdrop and start being part of the environment that makes change possible.

What can we do as a manager?

If someone in your team is working on themselves, your awareness of what they're working on isn't just a nice-to-have. It can be one of the best parts of your job.

It's not necessarily because you need to manage the process. But because knowing changes what you see. When you know someone is working on their confidence in public, you notice the meeting where they could step up. You invite them in. You create the stage.

When you don't know, you can't do any of that and may even form judgments that limit growth.

The managers who enable growth aren't necessarily doing more. They're paying a different kind of attention. They know what their people are reaching for, and they look for moments where they can make it possible.

I don't see it as 'pushing' people; rather, I ask: what does this person need from me right now, and where could they contribute to what we're trying to achieve overall in the organisation or in the team?

The system around you either works for you or it doesn't. When you name what you're working on, involve the people close to you, and invite them into your learning, you shift that. You create an environment where change isn't just possible. It's supported.

Having a vision for yourself and people in your corner who understand what you're reaching for changes everything. And if you don't feel you can do this comfortably or safely, that's also something good to reflect on. What does that mean to you?

If you're a manager and you feel a tension when reading any of what I've written about today, that might be something worth. Tuning into self can open doors we didn't even know were closed in the first place.

This week's leadership reflection journal

Take 20 minutes and gift yourself some reflection time.

Download Your Journal Page Here

If you're a manager wanting to figure out how to create the conditions for your team to grow, or if you're working on yourself and want to think through how to influence and show up differently in your system, let's talk about it.

A discovery call is a good place to start. Click here to find a time.

With you,
Linda

Founder of Touching Distance