Do you like the reason you're tired?
I was chatting with a friend after four days of facilitating the Women in Leadership programme together, on top of a week we'd already spent side by side. "I'm not actually that tired," we kept telling each other.
I've been on humanitarian deployments. Weeks of being sleep-deprived, the kind of tired where you still have to be on, all the time. I know what drained feels like, and this wasn't it.
So when I noticed I did feel a bit tired, I asked myself a different question. Not whether I was tired. Whether I liked the reason.
Being tired because you've pushed yourself for something you want isn't necessarily a problem for you to solve. There's a lot of advice out there telling you not to glorify exhaustion, not to buy into hustle culture, or even to wear exhaustion as if it's a badge of honour. So many mixed messages which confuses us in listening to how we actually feel. I think what's worth looking at is the reason behind WHY we're tired.
When you like the reason
This is the ultimate feeling: tired, but energised, motivated and feeling different. How many of us search for the feeling as opposed to just focusing on the outcome?
This feeling comes when you're living in your purpose, where the outcome and the process are both enjoyable, and the people you're with are amazing and you want to be with them.
The tiredness is physical. The emotional side is elating.
If you're tired and you like the reason, there's nothing to fix. It's something to be present with and grateful for. That's a beautiful place to be tired from. But...
When you don't
I know the other side of it too. There were times I was drained, I was frustrated, a lot of things made my energy feel really depleted, and yet you work as hard as you can anyway.
We get promoted for chasing the goal, not for enjoying the process. Hit the target, land the role, get the next thing done, and nobody ever asks if you liked getting there.
Listen to your own language for a minute.
I'm tired, but I'm excited.
I'm dreading this.
I'm drained.
I'm exhausted.
I'm burnt out.
Only the first one carries you anywhere. The rest are telling you something about how you're living, not just how you're feeling.
Maybe it's a promotion, or more responsibility than you signed up for. Somewhere in that climb, the things you used to enjoy stopped living where you live now.
That doesn't mean quit the thing. It means stop and look at what's actually making you tired.
Is it that you're alone a lot, when you used to be part of a team talking things through every day? Is it that you wanted to be more strategic and ended up in the weeds instead, doing everything you used to do plus everything you do now? You're doing 3 jobs instead of 1 and nobody decided that on purpose.
So let me ask you this...
Reflection invitation
Take a few minutes with these before you delete this email.
What's the reason you're tired right now?
Do you like that reason? Be honest.
If you don't, what changed? The people, the pace, or the role itself?
What did you use to do that you miss, and when did it stop living where you live?
If any of this has sparked something in you, a discovery call is a low stakes way to share what came up for you with no charge or obligation.
Just remember that "I'm not actually that tired" isn't the real question. It never was. Whether you like the reason is.
Tell me more in the comments or let's chat.
With you,
Linda
Reply and tell me: do you like the reason, or not?
With you,
